The Canine Affair
Flash Fiction about a Comical Canine
It helps if you read my story, A Chihuahua Named Tequila which was my second post on my Substack. This is part one of a 2K word sequel to A Chihuahua Named Tequila. This story falls under my Latina fiction and I wrote it to get you crack a smile if not laugh out loud.
The Canine Affair
After I returned to my apartment, Tequila, my naughty canine had torn up my couch and chewed on the carpet. Gary and his partner were besides themselves telling me that they were on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And who knew that dog sitting for a Chihuahua would turn into such a fiasco.
In the meantime, my mother gave me the riot act for my early departure from la familia reunion. Fortunately, Pedro hopped the plane with me, only to get away from the pandemonium that had broken out at the house. However, Pedro didn't sympathize with me about my situation with Tequila.
"Why don't you just take him back to the shelter? Honestly, he sounds like a real pain. And you might now have problems with your new neighbors. Man, I feel sorry for them."
I huffed, "Gary and Greg knew what they were getting themselves into. They were the ones going on about the Taco Bell dog and they thought it was amusing that Tequila got it on with the fancy dog at the bakery."
Pedro snickered, "You and your dog are probably famous in your hood now. And Mom's never going to talk to you again."
"Like I care."
I changed the topic to flip the shame onto Pedro.
"So, what are you going to do about your jobless situation? I can't believe you lied to the family about your employment status.
If I were you, I wouldn't have even showed up at the reunion."
Pedro stared down at his sneakered feet. Odd that he could still afford to purchase expensive shoes if he was so down and out. No doubt he was running up his credit card bill.
"I had debated not going but you know how she is."
"Tell me about it. And now I have this dog problem to deal with."
"And what exactly did we get out of attending her reunion other than more drama?"
"Drama seems to run in our family."
I stared at the clouds through the window wishing that I could float away on one of them.
**
When I returned to the apartment, Greg and Gary wore long faces and I didn't enjoy seeing the otherwise bubbly couple in despair.
"We would have kept Tequila at our place but we just bought a new couch. And after his tryst with the silky terrier, he went on a peeing spree on the block. It took us over thirty minutes to get him back to your place."
Greg sighed. “And then he chewed on your couch. We wished that there had been an emergency number we could have phoned."
"Or," Gary added, "some kind of tranquilizer gun like they have in those wild animal shows."
I gaped, "Was he that bad? I knew he was naughty but he's been one of his worse rampages. I wonder if there is a Chihuahua owner support group I can join."
"If there is, " Greg interrupted, "find out if there is a support group for pet sitters traumatized by Chihuahuas."
I reached in my purse for my wallet.
"So, how much do I owe you for the favor?"
Both men pushed my wallet away.
"We couldn't take money from you. After all, you are stuck with a monster."
I scooped Tequila up from the couch where he collapsed from exhaustion.
"I think he just missed me. I did tell you about his separation anxiety. I think I need to find me a good dog trainer who specializes in small traumatized dogs."
The next day, I called every number on my list of dog trainers. Most of the trainers said that they didn't work with Chihuahuas. And some of the trainers were either booked for six months or didn't help with separation anxiety. One trainer who was honest with me said she didn't want to be bothered with liability issues.
Perhaps, I had exaggerated my need or I over shared information. By the time I called the last number on the list I had thought of returning Tequila to the shelter. I had to admit that I failed as a dog mom or that rescuing an animal who had been in a shelter for over six months wasn't such a noble act after all.
Just was I was about to call the shelter, the phone rang. A raspy voice said that she would take Tequila on as a client. I was in luck or Tequila was.
I met Charlie at a dog gym on the edge of East Los Angeles. Charlie wasn't afraid to tout her lesbian status and she dressed in men's baggy trousers and a T-shirt with a faded image of a 1980s punk band. Her arms were covered in tattoos of pit bulls and other tough dogs with thick jaws.
Tequila seemed afraid of Charlie and he backed himself into a corner, trembling with his tail between his legs. His upper lip curled into a snarl as Charlie approached him.
Charlie sang to Tequila and he stopped snarling and he tilted his head out of curiosity.
"Huh? Who's this person?"
Charlie looked over her shoulder at me while she scooped Tequila up.
"So, you think he suffers from separation anxiety?"
She placed Tequila in the middle of the room next to the agility course. She gave the usual commands as she observed Tequila.
"He seems to know all the commands. I wonder if you're dealing with an animal behavioral and not a training issue. Fortunately, I'm an expert in both. Where did you say you found him."
"I got him from the Humane Society."
"And how long was he at the shelter? Where did he come from prior to the shelter?"
"He was at the shelter for over six months. I think they found him on the street in East LA."
"Then he has survival issues. You might also get his hormones checked out with a vet.
My guess is he's not had much in the way of socialization and most likely not good interactions with most humans."
I sighed. "He really only has me and I'm a bit of a mess."
Charlie looked me up and down. She refrained from responding to my comment.
"You do know that human stress levels affect canines. Didn't you mention earlier that you left Tequila with neighbors and you went out of town?"
My head began to throb as I thought of the family fiasco earlier that week.
"Uh, yeah, I attended a family reunion that I didn't actually want to attend."
"Did you make a fuss when you were leaving or were you stressed out? Tequila might have thought that you were abandoning him. And then you left him with two men."
I recalled the warm and fuzzy feeling I originally got when the neighbors met Tequila. They seemed to have bonded quickly and I felt comfortable leaving the Chihuahua with them.
"Gary and Greg are on the softer side of masculine...I probably didn't say that right. They weren't presenting a territorial threat to Tequila. And he seemed to like the men. Normally he would have snarled if he didn't like someone."
"So, what you're saying is if Tequila was a cat he would have been purring?"
"I'm not able to put Tequila and a cat in the same sentence. No, I don't think he would have been purring. He would have been more like a Maine coon cat sizing up his territory but pretending to be agreeable."
To Be continued…
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